A MYGIFT Testimony
LaDonna, 17 Yrs. Old
I grew up in a family, where both of my parents were severely on drugs for 17years. With them
being on drugs it put our family through a lot. Out of all five of us (children), I think my older sister
and brother suffered the most. The fights and arguments that my parents had, affected my
younger brother and sister more than it did me, but I was still affected behind all of the drama in
my own little way. I didn't really want to show them that I was, so I hid it. My younger siblings would
always cry when my mom and dad, or older siblings would fight. I would try to hide my tears in
front of them to try to be or seem strong, but at night I would cry my eyes out. I would cry and cry
asking God to fix our family, and it seemed as though there was no hope and He didn’t hear my
prayers. I can remember the day that my mom started to change. When she did, then my dad
also got clean and sober with her. They did it together. That’s when I realized that God heard my
prayers. We had to go through a lot, but eventually we became the family that I always wanted.
We lived all our lives in D.C. My mom and dad started praying for a new home outside of the
district in a nice neighborhood. When I turned 10, we moved into that nice house, in that nice
neighborhood and at that time my parents were 2 years clean from drugs and alcohol. Here we
were finally, both of my parents were clean, my mom and dad was working, my older brother was
living with us now, and my older sister was in college. Everything seemed like it was going well.
A couple of years had passed by and my mom had quit her job to be a stay at home mom and
everything was pretty much okay, (I thought). When I turned 13, thoughts started to run through my
head of how I wasn't pretty enough, or I was not thin enough, or how I was going to be a
disappointment to my family or in life in general. When these thoughts started coming I felt so
empty inside, and found myself in a DEEP depression. I knew how to hide all my feelings from my
family very well. By this time we as a family were attending church every Sunday, but I learned
how to live a double life, it did not change the fact that I still felt empty and lonely inside.
One day my family was gone and I was home alone, and my thoughts were really BAD. There's a
verse in the bible that says "A child left alone will bring his mother to shame" and that's exactly
what I did. I felt so alone and just empty inside. Instead of filling that emptiness with something
that can benefit me in life, I felt it with pornography. Pornography, I thought would help take my
mind off the emptiness and my thoughts for a while. It was like a god to me and in fact it was god
to me. Pornography became such a strong addiction for me that, I was worse off then what I was
before. I started to get depress even more because I knew what I was doing was wrong and not
pleasing to my parents or God. It didn't faze me as much with God versus my parents, because I
wasn't a Christian and I didn’t really care what God thought of me at that time. It was all about me
and I didn't care what no one else thought or how they felt. I started to become even more
depressed and that's when I started to eat even more. By now, I was so into what I was doing, it
seemed like it wasn’t enough, so I started to go on the internet and search ways to cut myself
without anyone noticing. I started to take pills to make myself sleepy just to numb my pain. I was
on the verge of killing myself.
My mom and dad started a family devotion in our home. Family devotions meant, no matter what
we were doing, sometime in our day we stopped and read the bible together as a family. That's
when I started to realize what God has already done in my life and with my family. I wanted to be
set free, from pornography, depression, loneliness and I really yearned for that sort of freedom. I
came to my mom and she help me to realized some things in my life and that’s when I accepted
Christ as my Savior. I thought if I did that, all my problems would magically be solved, but it didn't
happen that way. The only thing that was different was I tried a little harder to be free from the
bondage that I was in. God was really nudging me to go to my parents and tell them all that I had
done, but at that time I still couldn’t. One day I finally got up the courage to tell my mom. She then
knew what my struggles were and tried to help me overcome them and keep me accountably. I
felt such a great relief when I told them, but it still didn't make me feel different about myself. I still
had my up and down moments when temptation would come and try to rule over me.
I joined MYGIFT Program, Inc. first because I was curious about what it had to offer. Upon
attending my first workshop, I realized that the program was geared towards helping, teaching
and training young girls to love who they are, accept their faults and to surrender their old ways
and to become more responsible and open minded young women. MYGIFT helps young girls
build charter and self-esteem. The workshops that I've attended covered building confidence, self
image and how to manage your finances. Since I've been attending the MYGIFT workshops, I can
honestly say that it helped me to break through my wall and the shell that I once hid behind. My
self-esteem has risen and today I'm not afraid of what others think of me, because I am learning
to love myself just the way that I am!
Now, at this point in my life I can actually say that I feel pretty good about myself and I am trying to
live my life for Christ. I have more confidence in myself, my self-esteem is rising and at this point
in time I can actually say that I don't care about what people think of me or whether they are going
to judge me about my past or not. I've decided that I'm going to be me, and try not to let my
thoughts get the best of me anymore. God has done a miracle in my life, and words cannot
express how I feel deep inside. I'm at a place in my life where I'm happy with me and I know it’s
going to take time for me to come all the way out my shell and its going to take time for me to not
be afraid to succeed in life. But with God all things are possible, and I'm not afraid to live my life
anymore, because if there is one things I learned in all this, is that I'm Free!!!
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